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A guy goes into the doctors office, he's got a banana stuck in each ear and grapes stuck up his nose. He tells the doc "I sure don't feel very good"
The doctor replies "of course not, you're not eating right".
Real Happening on Bannerghatta Road.
> Read this true story... and let everybody you know in and around
> Bangalore... especially Bannerghatta Road .....
> My friend lives in Malleshwaram... One day he went to
>Bannerghatta Road
>> > to visit his uncle for some days as his parents had to attend a
>>wedding
>> > in Coimbatore. One evening he and some other of my college
>>friends went
>> > to Yellahanka for a movie. He had so much fun that he forgot
>>that it's
>> > very late. He caught the last local bus to Bannerghatta Road
>>..... he
>> > reached Bannerghatta Road around midnight ...... He had to walk
>>about a
>> > mile from the bus stop to home .... As he was walking alone, he
>>could
>> > sense that the night felt very creepy as it was so dark. While
>>walking,
>> > he was astonished to see an old creepy looking guy selling some
>>books.
>> > It was a very unusual thing to see a thing like that..... It got
>>the
>> > shivers ! on him when he noticed that this old guy is unusually
>>pale and
>> > staring at him...
>> >
>> > The old guy said "Son why don't you get a book...it would keep
>>you
>> > company".Then he did something which he would regret for the
>>rest of his
>> > life ....... My friend started to act brave & thought why not &
>>had a
>> > look at his collections... My friend's hair started to rise up
>>as he
>> > noticed that all the books were related to supernatural
>>activities...but
>> > he found one that was very interesting. So he asked the old man
>>"how
>> > much is it, uncle?" ....
>> >
>> > The old guy replied, "Well son...this is an interesting
>>book...it's only
>> > for Rs 250. My friend was shocked and said "but...but...it's
>>expensive"
>> > This time the old man stared which freaked my friend. My friend
>>quickly
>> > checked all his pockets & found Rs. 200 & said "This is all I
>>have." The
>> > old guy replied "It's OK son ...you can have the book for that
>>price" As
>> > ! my friend was just about to run for home...the old man called
>>back &
>> > said "Son ... whatever happen, you don't ever flip the book to
>>it's last
>> > page... remember these words or you
>> > would regret...!!!!!"
>> >
>> > My friend nodded and never looked back ... Reaching home...he
>>quickly
>> > asked his Uncle whether there was any new old book seller
>>nearby? The
>> > Uncle replied "not that I know of but ...we've heard that
>>there's 1 old
>> > man comes once in a while during full moon nights but heard that
>>there
>> > is something creepy about it...why son?"
>> >
>> > My friend freaked out... he told his uncle "nothing uncle...just
>> > asking". He started reading the book with the old man's words on
>>his
>> > mind. At night,12 0'clock, as he went to bed, a gush of wind
>>blew which
>> > chilled him up to his bones. At that glimpse, he noticed the
>>wind had
>> > blown the pages to its last page. He remembered what the old man
>>has
>> > said! But we humans tend to have the tendency to know. Out of
>>curiosity,
>> > he flipped to the last page & fainted...
>> >
>> > What he saw at the last page is stated below: Don't look further
>>down if
>> > you have a weak heart I I warn you ...
>> >
>> > .
>> > .
>> > .
>> > .
>> > .
>> > .
>> > .
>> > .
>> > .
>> > .
>> > .
>> > .
>> > .
>> > .
>> > .
>> > .
>> > .
>> > .
>> > .
>> > .
>> > .
>> > .
>> > .
>> > .
>> > Original price:--Rs 20/-
>> >
>> > Promotion price:--Rs 10/-
A Man saying about his stupid friend
...sent me a fax with a stamp on it. ...thought a quarterback was a refund. ...tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order. ...thought Boys II Men was a day care center. ...thought Earth Kitt was a set of garden tools. ...under "education" on a job application, he put "Hooked On Phonics." ...tripped over a cordless phone. ...spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "concentrate." ...told me to meet him at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK." ...took a ruler to bed to see how long he slept. ...at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," put "Gemini." ...asked for a price check at the Dollar Store. ...sold the car for gas money ...missed the 44 bus, and took the 22 bus twice instead. ...took you to the airport, saw a sign that said "Airport Left", turned around and went home.
1. Richard has hit rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow Hunter to breed.
3. Billie Sue is not much of a has-been as more
of a definite won't be.
4. Works well under constant supervision and
cornered like a rat in a trap.
5. When she open her mouth, she only seems to change feet.
6. Josh would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
7. Sara sets low personal standards then consistently
fails to achieve them.
8. This child has delusions of adequacy.
9. Rex is depriving a village somewhere, of an idiot.
10. He has a full six-pack, but lacks the plastic to
hold it all together.
11. I would like to go hunting with him sometime.
12. Patrick has been working with glue too much.
13. Curtis would argue with a signpost.
14. Derrick has a knack for making strangers immediately.
15. Chase brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.
16. Gates are down, lights are flashing, but the train
isn't coming.
17. If you gave Dusty a penny for his thoughts, you
would get change.
18. Some drink from a fountain of knowledge,
Brian only gargled.
19. Jeremiah's wheel is turning, but the hampster is dead.